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matt
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 Posted: Thu Jan 29, 2004 10:00 pm |
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Joined: Tue Jun 24, 2003 4:00 am
Posts: 17683
Location: Old London Town
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...Or even a bad one!
Here's one that made me chuckle!
A biology graduate student went to Borneo to take some samples for his thesis. He flew there and found a guide with a canoe to take him up the river to the remote site. On his second day of travel up the river they began to hear drums. Being a city boy by nature, the biologist was disturbed by this. He asked the guide "What are those drums?" The guide turned to him and said, "Drums OK, but VERY BAD when they stop." Well, the biologist settled down a little at this, and things went reasonably well for about two weeks. Then, just as they were packing up the camp to leave, the drums suddenly stopped! This hit the biologist like a ton of bricks and he yelled at the guide, "The drums have stopped, what happens now?!?" The guide crouched down, covered his head with his hands and said - "Bass Solo!"
Well I thought it was funny!
Any others?
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blearyeyedme
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Posted: Fri Jan 30, 2004 1:12 am |
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Joined: Thu Sep 11, 2003 4:00 am
Posts: 6272
Location: West Palm Beach, Florida, USA
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 that rocked dude! _________________ Trying to believe in hairy faith since 2002.
Read The Forum Rules
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moonchild
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Posted: Fri Jan 30, 2004 2:00 am |
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Joined: Thu Aug 14, 2003 4:00 am
Posts: 692
Location: San Francisco
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Ok here's two quick ones I like.
What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a corvette?
I don't have a corvette in my garage.
What the did the lady on the beach say to Miaheal Jackson?
Get out of my son.
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matt
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Posted: Fri Jan 30, 2004 2:09 am |
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Joined: Tue Jun 24, 2003 4:00 am
Posts: 17683
Location: Old London Town
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I see you went for the 'politically correct' jokes then!
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blearyeyedme
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Posted: Fri Jan 30, 2004 3:14 am |
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Joined: Thu Sep 11, 2003 4:00 am
Posts: 6272
Location: West Palm Beach, Florida, USA
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hahahahahahahahahaha!!!!
_________________ Trying to believe in hairy faith since 2002.
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GKnight
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Posted: Fri Jan 30, 2004 3:26 pm |
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Joined: Tue Aug 26, 2003 4:00 am
Posts: 2000
Location: New York
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Got jokes? Of course I do! Here's one:
A sales rep, an administration clerk and the manager
are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil
lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out in a puff of
smoke. The Genie says, "I usually only grant three
wishes, so I'll give each of you just one."
"Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to
be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care
in the world." Poof! She's gone.
In astonishment, "Me next! Me next!" says the sales
rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach
with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of pina
coladas and the love of my life." Poof! He's gone.
"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The
manager says, "I want those two back in the office
after lunch."
Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say
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blearyeyedme
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Posted: Fri Jan 30, 2004 8:53 pm |
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Posts: 6272
Location: West Palm Beach, Florida, USA
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matt
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Posted: Fri Jan 30, 2004 11:16 pm |
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Joined: Tue Jun 24, 2003 4:00 am
Posts: 17683
Location: Old London Town
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Wise Words GK!
Here's a quick and very old one....
How do you tell a blind man in a Nudist Camp..
Its not hard...
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GKnight
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Posted: Thu Feb 05, 2004 2:47 pm |
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Joined: Tue Aug 26, 2003 4:00 am
Posts: 2000
Location: New York
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matt
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Posted: Sun Feb 08, 2004 11:03 am |
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Joined: Tue Jun 24, 2003 4:00 am
Posts: 17683
Location: Old London Town
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Its gone. I think... 
Here's a quickie
What has two legs and bleeds a lot?
Half a cat...
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Jeffs
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Posted: Sun Feb 08, 2004 4:25 pm |
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Joined: Sat Jul 19, 2003 4:00 am
Posts: 129
Location: Ontario
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Star Wars Kid.
http://www.starwarskid.com
A farely well known ongoing internet phenomenon, but for those not in the know, here he is. I think the videos are pretty damn funny!!! Especially for Star Wars fans...
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matt
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Posted: Sun Feb 08, 2004 8:21 pm |
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Joined: Tue Jun 24, 2003 4:00 am
Posts: 17683
Location: Old London Town
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 OMFG!
He has a domain now? He's definitely become an Internet celeb.
Oh yes, and check out http://www.b3ta.com/ if you haven't already. Usually weird, probably crude, but always funny. Consider the hub of weird stuff that people do - on the net.
This weeks 'Photoshop' Challenge - Tribute bands!
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/tributebands/
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GKnight
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Posted: Sat Feb 21, 2004 12:14 am |
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Joined: Tue Aug 26, 2003 4:00 am
Posts: 2000
Location: New York
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GKnight wrote:
It's working again! For those who have not seen it - check it out, a good demonstration of how not to tow a car 
This is an old joke, but just in case you have not seen it...
A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.
After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.
The monsignor replied, " When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip."
So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice.
At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm.
Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the following note on the door:
1) Sip the vodka, don't gulp.
2) There are 10 commandments, not 12.
3) There are 12 disciples, not 10.
4) Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
5) Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
6) We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
7) The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the spook.
8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him.
9) When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ass.
10)We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T."
11)When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said, "take this and eat it for it is my body." He did not say " Eat me" .
12)The Virgin Mary is not called " Mary with the Cherry,.
13)The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, Yeah God.
14)Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at ST.Peter's not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's.
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blearyeyedme
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Posted: Sat Feb 21, 2004 3:12 pm |
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Joined: Thu Sep 11, 2003 4:00 am
Posts: 6272
Location: West Palm Beach, Florida, USA
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hahahahh!!! that's surely the way to not tow a car... lol... damn.
I like the priest joke... I got that in an email a while back.. very cool!  _________________ Trying to believe in hairy faith since 2002.
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MissDita
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Posted: Sat Feb 21, 2004 3:48 pm |
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Joined: Thu Dec 11, 2003 5:00 am
Posts: 582
Location: Bristol, UK
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I love that priest one! Very funny!
_________________
This is my harmony
I'm in your heart again
This is the place to live
Where I'm alone again
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